Just a few days ago, I became the happy recipient of a unique new gender processing unit:

Designed by my esteemed creator, Dr. Vidal VanPrell, the FEMx1301 is the first-ever electronic device able to instantly transform the sex of any content-providing bicranial-humanoid gaming system from male to female. The "1301's" plastic, salmon-tint outer shell is sleek and compact (about the size of a feminine shaver)--custom designed for snug cartridge portal insertion. Dr. VanPrell was able to perform installation using a simple, 20-minute, techno-organic surgical maneuver.

With the FEMx1301, I've finally discovered the mysterious and joyful secrets of womanhood. My life as Daryoshatari has come to a close.

I am now ....

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GIRL SECRETS with

Q : What's it like to be a girl?

A : If you have to ask, you'll never know...

Maybe my gender-shift opened me up in some way I never could've expected. But right around the time my life as Daryoshatelle began, something very big happened.

I fell in love.

Its name is Tandy.

Tandy's this cute, gray A/B circuit shifter box I met in the Doctor's tool shed just after my operation.

Tandy's kind of the strong silent type--inanimate, actually. I'm the one who has to take most of the initiative in our relationship, but that's really OK. On our first date, Tandy and I hooked up to a Sony Trinitron with an RCA jack and played Ms. Pac Man while Dr. VanPrell sprayed WD-40 on us. When we were done, Tandy helped channel VHF signals through my cables and we watched reruns of Fantasy Island (Tandy's favorite character is Tattoo, played by the late Herve Villachaise).

But I don't need to bore you girls with all the details. It's probably time for me to go. I think I'll take a bath. If you'd like to talk some more, just email me.

Bye now....