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From the desk of the content provider formerly known as Daron Murphy: Here at WORD, we're always trying to think of new ways to be more productive. The other day, for instance, Yoshi and I agreed to undergo a dangerous and unprecedented surgical procedure that, if successful, could transform the both of us into a single "content provider" unlike any the world has ever seen. Yoshi, WORD's art director, is an unparalleled master of electronic graphic design and techno-aesthetic know-how. And as a part of WORD's estimable editorial think tank, my skill with the conceptualization and execution of written language on the web has risen to an almost deadly force. If our abilities were combined in the virtual realm, Yoshi and I would undoubtedly reach levels of POWER, INFLUENCE, and CONTROL never before witnessed in cyberspace. The idea was to surgically graft our brains directly into the control center of a high-powered mainframe supercomputer. (Now any William Gibson-reading dweeb would probably tell you this concept is nothing new. But as far as I know, not one of these wuss-ass M.F.s has ever had the guts to go ahead and do it in real life.) The operation was performed by Dr. Vidal Van Prell--a onetime hairdresser and performance artist who, after experiencing a near-fatal boating accident became fascinated with the uncharted frontier of "neuroplastic" surgery. Over the past three years Van Prell has turned a few modest circuit boards, chainsaws, icepicks, and soldering irons into the stuff of legend--developing his newfound craft on volunteer subjects in a suburban Connecticut backyard toolshed. This is where our transformation took place. The operation was a complete success. In a drunken fit of inspiration, Van Prell decided to attach our freshly severed heads to an Atari 2600 video game machine. The 2600 would provide better mobility, simpler circuitry, and more "plain fun" than a big old stodgy mainframe. With our inefficient human bodies replaced by a lightweight home arcade system, Yoshi and I can perform heretofore unwitnessed functions sure to change the face of history. Not even we understand them. Oh, by the way...our new name is "DARYOSHATARI." |
 Before Operation.
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