I'm thinking maybe the subject matter
was to blame for your previous mediocrity.
But let's not look back. This last Cat Card
of the Week was a little wilder, a little
nuttier maybe, and that, apparently, was
a good thing.

First prize for a perfect blend of hoe-down
and love-in-with-beat-sensibility
goes to Mr. joshw-at-sirius-dot-com:

 "Where the haiyl you come across with
this gaw-damn l-s-d?" yowled Phigt-Philo
as he stood swaying and glassy-eyed in
the back of the vehicle, which sensously
clawed the asphalt.

But I was surrounded by lights and that
spirit was so HIGH I couldn't answer
except to feel the hair rising on the
back of my neck, that static charge
moving through me and all the wild
fucking cats and kittens we was loaded
and felt FINE....

"Oh boy are we gonna party," I whispered
to the automobile, which was purring with
pleasure. --joshw@sirius.com

"It was hell!" Frank 
Oz had never been to a therapist before, 
although he'd been pointed that way by 
countless colleagues.  But there he was, 
shaking and sobbing like any cheap TV-movie
bimbo. "Jim had these cats, right?  And
they were like...I don't know, like some
free-lovin' Osmonds drove John Lennon's
Rolls over Billy Ray Cyrus' hair, or
something..." The therapist shifted in
her seat. She had always LOVED the
Muppets.  She had always loved HIM. "It
was only a dream, Frank...And Jim,
well,he's...um..." "God, doc, I just...I
can't do it anymore."
--jkurylo@direct.ca

Third Prize, for subtlety, of which Contest Queen
highly approves, and drollery, which is (according
to Newsweek anyway) WORD's hallmark, goes to
Mr. albin-at-eleven-dot-org:

In the late 60's, the little-known feline
subculture in the Haight-Ashbury-- sparked
mainly by the increasing number of tabs of
acid given to unsuspecting pets-- was in full
swing.  Little did these cats know that soon
they would meet a man who would whisk them
away from their San Francisco idyll and into
something darker in the desert-- Manson!
--albin@eleven.org

By the time they got to Woodscratch, they
were half a meowllion strong. Unfortunately,
Moonkitty didn't realize that his friskies
were laced with enough catnip to down a
cheetah, resulting in disaster.  Within
moments, this day of peace and love turned
into one of horror, as Moonkitty freaked and
drove into the scattering throngs of cool
cats watching the Scratching Posts on center
stage.  Perhaps if these young and carefree
kitties realized they have only 9 lives, 
they would stop abusing themselves with the
evil weed.--dpelson@IConNet.com

Far Out!!!  Tabby Lu brought the catnip, the 
LOVE IN can begin!!!!--lordgek@best.com