SEXY YODA and TELL HIM THE TRUTH
Question 1 of 2
Dear Dr. Lovelady,
I am a young man in my 20s and I am in love with a
woman 26 years my senior. We met on the Internet and fell in
love, then met in person and found that our feelings were the same in
the "real" world. We have a good relationship, but she worries about
me and thinks that I am "wasting my time." She says I should be with a
younger woman who could grow old with me instead of in front of my
eyes (her words). She constantly suggests I "play the field" and even
encourages me to get out of the house to meet someone my own age. But,
Dr. Lovelady, I am totally in love with this woman, even to the point
of lifetime commitment. How do I show her I don't want anyone else and
ease her fears? Any advice on how I can reassure her?
Signed,
Unfortunately, Dr. Lovelady cannot tell you how to
convince your lover that she's wrong when she claims that you will
someday leave her. Why? Because she's right. You will leave her. Or,
in a face-saving defensive maneuver, she will leave you. How is it
that she knows the relationship is doomed? Well, because she is, after
all, Older. Like Dr. Lovelady herself, your lover understands that
time and experience changes people. You can tell her in a million
ways that you couldn't possibly love her more NOW, but one thing we
old coots learn is that the only thing you can predict is that the
future changes things. You are still forming, and it's to your
lover's credit that she understands this. On The Other Hand (and there
is always another hand, isn't there?), in the final analysis, this
woman is not Yoda. She is not
in this as your guru or advisor. She is still a Babe, and she wants
to be with you. So she's sending you confusing mixed messages. Let's
face it. She may be sending you out to "play the field", but at the
same time she's firmly maintaining her position as Mama Home Plate.
Better that you go out prowling with her blessing than behind her
back, eh? So what can you do? Well, you can do what we all wind up
doing, like it or not: you can, as Baba Ram Dass put it, Be Here Now.
What else is there?
Down in Dallas
Dear Down,
