Subject: the total integration has partially split apart....I'm so 
happy!!!! Date: Thu, 9 Nov 1995 04:52:56 GMT




We found our core and spontanously integrated what felt like all of us 
about 2 months ago (time has no meaning to us).


We were really happy, full, complete, in grief, mad cause I couldn't switch 
in problem times, couldn't dissassociate like I always could, had to live 
minute to minute up front and personal.....yes, I/we vastly prefer the 
arm's length approach that dissassoc. gives one.


We began to suspect that we were MPD again (or maybe still) last week. I 
can't describe the relif. We weren't ready for the permanant forever 
oneness thing. I/we feel we let everyone we know and love down...by being 
multiple...after all, weren't we "cured"? Yes, the sarcasam dripped, not 
because of anything anyone external said....because of the internal 
'backstabbing', etc.


Well, I'll close. Happy to be we. Don't know that I like the Me we 
were/will be. Time will tell.